i'm very dissapointed in you [ 5.20.06 - 6.26pm ] [ mood | crushed ] sometimes you make me feel like crap? are you even aware of that? you are cold sometimes, yet oblivious i do know it you feel bad or not too serious how can you just play it off? it makes me think you're a bitch at times but its just me being to vulgar you can not focus on the world around you only yourslef it makes you very salfish at times but i think oyu know that you are at times very unconsiderate please acknowledge my presence make me feel like im a living person deserving of some respect why must you kill me? do you not love me? i know its hard for you to express yourslef but you need to start working on it or you are going to lose me from heartbreak make i depend on you too much maybe but its because i love you something i know is present for me something i just know but can never see it gets tiring at times you know? i feel like shit empty and lonely if you care for me you will try to be better at being aware of my feelings i won't ask for much just please SOMETHING hug me touch my arm look at me stand next to me say something to me something is better than nothing. <//3 you hurt me even though you don't want to. please be more considerate, care for me. i am a person in need of tending which you are not the best at doing but i know you are capable of doing it. so please try. Post Comment

day after prom. [ 4.30.06 - 12.16pm ] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | unoriginal dum dums ] i cried a thousand tera and still the Pain did not go away. Post Comment

i'd do him [ 4.16.06 - 11.29pm ] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | jason mraz ] my head hurts. thank god it's raining. new layout!!! pretty fun. Post Comment

friends? [ 3.26.06 - 6.17pm ] [ mood | busy ] you and me are going to be friends. more? only if you wanted. but for now friends. we will have fun and dance the night away. do you know i want the best for you? i love the thought of making you happy. hope you will forgive me oneday. Post Comment

envy. [ 3.14.06 - 8.15pm ] [ mood | confused ] sure i do envy you. but i shall no longer, because i must put it behind me in the past where we shouldn't return. I must grasp what little time i have left with you and savor our friendship. for you to be happy is my goal even if i get the shorter end. remember when you walk me home and kissed me and told me you loved me? where have those times gone? where does the land of second chances lay? Post Comment

...argh [ 3.6.06 - 7.03pm ] [ mood | and tortured. ] i think i've gone and fallen for the same person twice. is that possible? very. will you love me back and prove my theory of relativity? Read 1 // Post Comment

[ 3.2.06 - 6.51pm ] [ mood | and ready to go crazy ] a part of me wants to hug you and the other part of me wants to scold you for not... me. Post Comment

man what a day. [ 2.19.06 - 4.12pm ] [ mood | and ready to pack rounds >..> ] [ music | craig david-7 days and Utada- devil inside ] today is FAB. you know why its fab? because it just it^^. Yesterday went to vin's party and it was the bomb. chillaxed philosophical talks and sh.t it was so relaxing. so real^^. and we made smores! YUM^^! my first time. met some new cool people very friendly and lovable. then i stayed over against mama's will, but hey hopefully she's never find out ><. and then i woke up and vinnary made me pancakes!!! the best damn pancakes ever!!! and an omelete w/ x-tra cheese. CHEEEEESE! the love of my life. and then i had to drag my ass to hospital volunteering and had more intellectual talking muahaha and then my sister took me to sonoma chicken coop, this place like california pizza kicthen and it was also very very yummy i had the pork chipotle ribs^^. and then we all shared a fondue set : ) hehe then my sister and i went to go get manicures, also a first timer and it was refreshing, and now im back at mi casa, spending hours to catch up on internet things and do my laundry / clean my tornado room i've been neglecting ^^. heheh so that was the update with me and let the good times keep on rollin!!!!!!!!! peace- Jackie <3 p.s. friends for life, in my heart Post Comment

tired [ 2.3.06 - 6.28pm ] [ mood | and in pain ] [ music | none ] went jogging. the sky was beautiful. i tired to reach out and grab it bout it wouldn't let me. raon into amy and annie, near the tennis courts and watched boys play tennis for a bit. ran into mylana nd kept her company for awhile. told her i need a love life. she told me not to look for one on the tennis courts. haha that was funny. you guys know how to win me over? please tell my future boyfriend to buy me jewlery because nothing says i love you like jewlery^^. i love it! <3 , simple in desgin and small but completely gorgeous. you buy this for me and i'll love you forever. PLEASE??????????? hahaah talking to anyone. man i feel depressed. i think i should so wirte in my other journal. hahah strange. i'm NOT emo. i just have a lot of emotions, complex but at the same time a simple human being. -<3 Jackie Post Comment

<//3 the stupidity of a young girl [ 2.1.06 - 7.32pm ] [ mood | and really stressd ] [ music | kelly- because of you ] i'm in love with you, i'm in love with your mind. heart-broken am i, but i can't seem to move on. am i weak? or am i stupid? maybe i'm just both. why do you attract me so, play your games to step on me. could you ever feel the same for me as i do for you. no. but i hope. Post Comment

stressed. [ 1.30.06 - 5.04pm ] [ mood | but hopeful ^^ ] [ music | Ayumi- Voyage ] Happy New Years everyone! man i am so stressed and tired but i know somehow i'm going to get through the mountains of work put before me. fighting! keke. man being slow really turns me off. white boys are slow. i find out the hard way. gRr. i can't help but love! when i feel weak please give me strength. i hope all of us: - better happiness, health and weatlh <- in that order ^^ - more sex - more good friends, more love <3 - good grades - unforgettable memories - one sickass hobby - stronger faith in devotion and anything you wish to pursue, pursue with your heart - A teddy Bear k lol im done. hope you guys the best. really. ^^ -Jackie Post Comment

The ^_^ s and -_- s of life [ 1.24.06 - 7.10pm ] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | purify by Ryohei <3 ] me. i am selfish. i am vain. i am funny. strange. lovely. horny. pretty here and there. ugle here and there. stupid. silly. a dreamer. unrealistic. strong. forceful. tough-minded. flexible. intelligent. caring and nuturing. pure evil. fun. depressing. clingy. not desperate. bootay-shaking. hard-working. simple in complexity. untamed. proper. i am a thousand contracdictions in one. i am filled of love. <3 i am all these things. the only question is, who will love me? -Jackie Post Comment

me and me. [ 1.21.06 - 12.51am ] [ mood | <---what ever the hell that is ] [ music | an instrumental from kare kano ] i feel so lonely in this world. is there anyone out there who loves me? will you drop your work and stare at me blankly? take my hands and give me the world. want me like i want you. touch me here and there. be gentle and firm. love and hate me. treasure my love in our world we created together. i want to play this game of love. this game of give and take. i am an able body. but it seems as if i give and give and turn around to take and be left empty handed. what is a world without equality and blance. the fundamental values of the scale will be thrown off and one side will all come crashing down. i'm scared of you, but i love you. you hurt me, but i love. you love me too, but only in a dream. im forced to live in constant agony. my soul bleeds an eternal pool of sadness. i fell right in and couldn't swim. so i waited for you to come save me. being the idiot that i am of course. went you did not appear i waited longer. i did not hope or pray but i knew you would come to save me. wouldn't be as cruel as to leave me to my own destruction would you love? no you wouldn't. but when you did i drowned in misery, lost, lost in this bloody soul of mine, in this perfect little world i dreamed we created together. such a sad scenario, one would say. maybe this world isn't so perfect after all. random thoughts ^^ man am i emo or what?? naw im just playing. man im tired but can't go to sleep. what's wrong with me? i think my internal being is troubled. searching for a solution, even though im not sure what it is. really bored maybe i should just write more? am i desperate? that is a complicated question, but complicated questions fit for complicated people like me i guess. in a way i would call myself desperate and then know i only appear that way but am really independent (*yes true thoguh i cannot live w/o companionship)when i want to be. but i act so well i would fool myself into thinking how pitiful i look, is it just an illusive state of mind of a condition of reality. but what does it all really matter? of course there is always some middle ground, some logical answer: i think i am desperate to a certain degree, play roleing it so much and i made it become somewhat a part of me, yet i am less desperate then many would pressume. i stronger then they would have guessed. im a book of contradictions. im the sweetest person in the world and a certified bitch. im smart at times and im dumber than dumb at others. im strong but fragile. i can hate and love you all at once. i talk in cirlces and don't make sense. A big ball of doubt. but isn't that the beauty of being me? and i already came to the conclusion i like myself, wouldn't change myself for anyone escept God. i love and embrace myself, however pretty or ugly i am. Life has many downs, but is worth living than wasting. my life is precious and so are the ones around me. i wouldn't have wanted it anyotther way in the end. keke have no idea what i wrote but hey im like that. weird ><. its just all this emotional confusing stuff haha don't look into it to much. i should copy my favorite excerpt from my real journal onto this one. but -_- it's most likely going to be either an attempted sexy scene of about ping pong. sooooooo...i guess its the next day already. o how time flies. yo tengo mucho hambre. pleh. later <3 -Jacqueline Post Comment

[ 1.20.06 - 8.04pm ] [ mood | and bored ^^ ] [ music | Ryohei Yamamoto- Moon Sexy ] my newest <3. man i must admit he is damn fine. his althletic ability is beautiful to watch. ranked No. 1 in men's singles in world ranking baby!! whoo hoo, man i want to be his wife, only 6 years younger not that bad. ^__________^ more for my pleasure...yes mine nor yours: he loves to take his shirts off after big wins...what a cutie. his movement. incredible. kk some family stuff, pics from my baby sin's wedding ^^ Familia: me n siblings, im in light blue^^, yes get to look tall from heels us and family friend Ky. just me and mis hermanas^^ yep some pics for ya guys to look at. all right got to wish my friend ANH a belated happy birthday ^^ and...........adidos chicas > Post Comment

Grades [ 1.18.06 - 11.03pm ] Grades as i know of so far- English: A- Calc: B+ T_T U.S. History: A Art 1: A Physio: A Spanish 3: A As ya can tell the first two are the hardest subjects. i curse school. man i suck. i tried so hard too! so close, yet i didn't quite make it. a bit dissapointed in myself but i can make. hopefully i won't get another B, it would make me uber happy. let's pray huh? kekek k i'm sleepy gtg finish hmwrk >< -PinGO : > Post Comment

yea break after finals! ^_______^ [ 1.15.06 - 9.13pm ] [ mood | pleh!^^ ] [ music | none ] man im so glad finals is over. i think i did well in all except english and math. im terribly worried bout mat, pray to god i get that A- went to work yesterday, met an annoying guy, and saw my Junior, coolest somolian you'll ever meet. 2DAY i went to frisco baby!! w/ jen, kim, her auntie and nice friend, and PT, ^____^ i had a lot of fun ever though i didn't get to go to the store i wanted in chinatown, and i saw it while driving too T_T. Frisco, beautiful place. bought my accessories because im a accessory wore and this cool pig lighter that shoots flares through its nostrils!^^ sickass. jennifer told me about this guy. what a jerk. >< pleh! what can ya do? well i have better things to do then smack on him some more so moving on... Haha o yes ice skating friday? yes, absolutely fun. fun w/ my G-dawgs^^ i love them even when they make fun of me. but betray me and ill drop you like THAT. kk so plans tomorrow? maybe a little romantic dinner with the amigas? whos knows^^ life is limitless. Goals though: need to clean room. go jogging. find my ping-pong materials. and wash the whites ^^. keke ok time for some online shopping, im obsessed. )>O lol ill try to post pictures up later^^. -Jackie <3 Post Comment

FINALS!!!!!! [ 1.8.06 - 8.29pm ] [ mood | and more stressed! ] [ music | the sound of my own brain ] argh!!! can somebody please kill me now. i can do. i hope. hopefully i can have the strength and willpowR to make it through this week. i want to wish everybody goodluck on their studies ^_^ -Jackie hopefully ill post in a week after finals> Post Comment

numero uno post. [ 1.2.06 - 10.19pm ] [ mood | and depressed ] [ music | her space holiday - Japanese Gum ] hmm decided to give live journal a try instead of xanga...got too bored. trying to start of this year trying new things you know? ( ^_^ ) GOALs: - ping-pong DUH! - better work ethic - be more calm and at peace witht hte world and myself >< - screw the 'i need a BF' concept - tone body to a better standerd - laugh more at the stupidity of the world - have a closer relationship with God. - make new friends, stay tight with the old - become a better typer .... that's it for now. bbl . back to english Hmwrk~ -PingO Post Comment

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